White Lightning Axiom: Redux: July 2007

Tuesday, July 31, 2007



I've been a fairly busy boy at work of late... No, really! Things are in stasis here ... doing what needs to be done and all. And of a matter of course, I've been raiding the Agricultural Sector for fresh produce by the truck-load and depositing it in the Cafe'. I've got a reputation for being the Green Grocer. Not that I have much to do with the production now ... the wet humid nights and the hot humid days are more than enough to kick the Genetically Modified Man Eating plants to produce a 10 fold bounty. Afterwards, it was the standard swim/karate deal with the Tyrants. They, as usual, did not want to go swimming, but wanted to go to Karate. Then, when swimming was over, did not want to get out of the pool. No pleasing them, the twerps. That goes hand-in-hand with that whole bed fiasco. The Incredibly Patient (and horrifically intolerant of incompetents) Mrs called up the manufacturer of the bed rails with the complaints of non-conformance. They noted that they no longer did business with Babies-R-Us and we should ship the rails back for replacement of the correct color. We would have to pay for the UPS Ground shipping, but the rest would be at no cost. Apparently, the color makes a difference when it comes to the 'hook' angle. Something about a horizontal inverter and a lateral sky-hook and such. In the end, I need to repackage the bits-n-kibble strewn out across the lawn so we can get the correct(er) pieces. Soooo ... it may take a bit longer to get the beds assembled, but we are going to proceed with the purchase of the actual box-springs and such. Should we end up getting 'shafted', I'll just mill the damn things myself. From a tree ... cut down in the front yard ... damn-it.

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Monday, July 30, 2007



Quick weekend update (including Friday). Of course, we have to talk about Friday. It's the day I sat and glared at the support phone with all the intensity I could muster. And my transcendental glaring power caused all signals to be blocked, so no calls. With that success, I continued to glare all weekend long and thusly, no calls. It also seems to stop elephant stampedes since there were none of those either. Ahhh, it's good to be a great universal power ... even if the Twin Tyrants of Turpitude can stomp me into dust at will. As a small demonstration of their power, the Friday Karate Dodge Ball of Death Match went well. Genghis Jake still gets disappointed when he gets nailed by a ball, but he will soon learn to accept that as a fact of life. No, I do not intend on giving him a 'participation award' for everything he tries. Character is developed, no awarded.

Saturday was a busy day indeed. I managed to get most of the molding in the master bed room put up and only have the chair rail left and some minor patching to do. A little mop-up and installing the new anti-emf blinds are next and then we can move in. I tried to assemble the full sized bed frames from the bits and pieces we purchased about 4 years ago ... with little success. The support beams are supposed to hook into the head and foot of the bed which were the sides of the cribs ... but the hooks are inset about a quarter of an inch too deep so the hooks will not catch! We will either need to cut off 1/4 of an inch of the wood or get new beams. What a nuisance! Returning specialty order items 4 years after delivery will certainly not fly. After that, I needed a success story so I went out to mow the lawn and pick some cucumbers. I thought that I could be absurdly efficient at that, but the humidity laid waste to my plans. Sure, it got done, but I could not prance about and declare my super-daddy powers after that. Too damn hot, too damn humid. The bean picking had to go undone. Not that we have any sort of bean shortage. [Ed. If you ask the Mrs, she'll tell you that one bean is too many in her books ... the Green-House Methane Gas production is a sticking point when it comes to the beans.]

Then ... there was one day left. The day of rest. Yessss ... that elusive 'rest' concept ... it evades me. But not this time! No, I went to church with the Tyrants who clung to me like a brood newborn opossums to their mother. So, no assaults on the fellow parishioners this time. The compulsory donut run afterwards went as planned and they were happy as could be. Later on, after the Mrs returned from her shopping expedition, we drove out to the Victory Brew Pub to meet some of my fellow co-workers from my previous employer and the CEO/President and his Wife/Director of Development. Also was treated to the experience of meeting some 'new' children (deployed and undeployed) that had come onto the scene. FLAWLESS EXPERIENCE! Drinking beer, eating Pizza and going on a brewery tour. No work at all got done. Of course, after a V12 and an Golden Monkey I was pretty much shot. Man, 2 beers and I'm tossed out like a common lush. Must be getting old or something.

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Friday, July 27, 2007



Well, it looks like the GrandParent Patrol will not be able to make a fly-by this weekend. Other plans, with each-other, don't ya know. No way I could possibly blame them for that! So, they'll be down the following week when the Karate test is going on ... that should be fun. Pizza afterwards ... I'll bring the wine again. The kids mattress pickup will have to wait a week ... I'm sure it will do. I'm thinking about setting up Jakes bed and letting him sleep on the sofa [ed. not as punishment mind you, he LOVES sleeping on the softer sofa.] till we actually use Gramp's Big Black Truck (tm) to pick up the bedding.

In news closer to this temporal moment, I got to work before 0800 today since I am now in my support rotation. Bleh, hope things go smoothly over the weekend. There has been a shake-up in the 3rd level support group and most of the seasoned handlers were moved into 'research' positions. That leaves us with a whole new crop of green personnel to break in. I'm not in the mood either. I'm still waking up in pain from my back and now a muscle in my side is acting up because of overcompensation. I blundered through swimming, karate and adult karate last night with little issue, but I have to keep it simple so I do not aggravate anything before next weekend. And yes, I still need to mow the damn lawn. And fertilize it ... and put up the molding in the MBR ... and 100 other little tasks that I never seem to get around too. At least the garden looks nice!

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Thursday, July 26, 2007


Only 40 more years till retirement ...

Yeah, another serendipitous post due to the nature of Agile Programming paradigms. I'll be curt and make a riposte dissertation of current events. Rather diametrically opposed to my usual confabulation. Mmmm, big words ... signifying nothing. But I digress, I did go swimming with the Tyrants yesterday. Nothing excessive, just tossing them 20-30 meters into the air so they could enjoy the unnerving sensation of uncontrolled descent. We went to karate afterwards. Attila and Genghis have a test on the 4th as well as Myself so we all need the practice ... but I'll have to subsist on the trenchant criticism of Master Smith to improve my lot since I cannot possibly go all out and attend the Adult class. No, this week I am the Avatar of the God of Slovenly Lumps. Even just this morning, I woke up with pain - gobble down pills and go back to sleep. Early bird be damned, I have sleep to catch up with!

In other less whiney news, I'll be on pager support duty this weekend, starting Friday morning. Ugh. I'm not entirely looking forward to that, dont ya know. The up side is that The Holy Grandparents will be down to take the kids off to Sesame Place while I rot away in the sullen mood I'm sure I'll envelop myself in. I've got distractions though ... mow the lawn, throw down some fertilizer ... finish off the molding in the Master Bed Room. Little stuff. We'll probably head off to the 'Dump' (a local warehouse outlet) to buy the mattress/box-spring sets for the twins so they can sleep in 'big beds' while Gramps has the truck available. Nothing like shaving a few dimes off the bill by providing your own delivery mechanisms. Oh, and there is this: (mdmhvonpa whipering sotto voce) It's Gramps birthday as well as their anniversary ... we'll have something to mark the occasion.

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Wednesday, July 25, 2007



I just read some news from a blog-friend that a young family has lost their dear child Micah to cancer. This is one of my greatest and most troubling fears. The Davis family could use some support and prayers right now. Please go over and say something nice.

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Tuesday, July 24, 2007


Fear and Loathing in Pennsyltucky

Soooo, spent the day doing ... work. Yesterday, more of the same. Did go to the pool but skipped karate. Reversed it on Tuesday where I bagged the swim but took the kids to practice. I'm having a particular difficult time with an issue regarding the Hibernate database access. Initially, I suspected it was a a problem with the SNMP protocol not having the proper OID registered or some other accounting nonsense, but after excessive time burned on this I finally got a line I could follow to the origin of all the issues. Que interesting, no? Hopefully, I'll be in a better place soon since the test is on August 4th. For some reason, I have suspicious feeling that I have some other plans for that weekend ... not sure what. That kind of nebulous mental fog vexes me to no end. I'd blame MS but I know damn well it's my own sloppy mental hygiene 'activities' that may very well be the root of this. Maybe I'll blame cell phones, PDAs, the internet, automated spell checkers, wikipedia, TiVo and a host of other 'extra-cranial' aids that I've adapted into my semi-borg pseudo-cyborg life. What would I do without all the electronics in my life? One EMP and I'll be lost amongst a pile of failed electronics and piles of fried micro-chips. Reduced to steno-pads, erasure turds and pencil shavings. The horror, the horror.

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Monday, July 23, 2007



Quick notes here. I'm not dead, just absurdly preoccupied. I messed up my back by sneezing of all things. I was bed-ridden over the weekend so nothing got done other than an un-healthy amount of Television Viewing. The doctor told me to ramp up on pain-killers/anti-inflammatory meds and do NOTHING but convalesce. So, the lawn did not get mowed and a long list of tasks got no attention. I hope to be a little more attentive shortly.

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Thursday, July 12, 2007


Spam #6

Time for more slacking and crufty filler posts:

Recipe By :
Serving Size : 6 Preparation Time :0:00
Categories : Casseroles Main dish

Amount Measure Ingredient -- Preparation Method
-------- ------------ --------------------------------
2 Baking potatoes, cut into
-1/8" slices
1 cn SPAM Luncheon Meat, cubed
-(12 oz)
1 c Thinly sliced carrots
1 c Thinly sliced onions
1/2 c Thinly sliced celery
2 Garlic cloves, minced
2 tb Flour
1 t Coarsely ground pepper
3/4 t Dried whole thyme
1 cn No-salt-added green beans,
-drained (16 oz)
1 cn No-salt-added whole
-tomatoes, drained and
-chopped (16 oz)
1 cn No-salt-added vegetable
-juice cocktail (5 1/2 oz)
Butter-flavor vegetable
-cooking spray

Cook potatoes in boiling water 3 minutes or until crisp-tender.
Drain. In skillet, cook SPAM until browned; remove from skillet. Add
carrots to skillet and saute 4-5 minutes, stirring frequently. Add
onion, celery, and garlic; saute until vegetables are tender. Combine
flour, pepper, and thyme. Stir flour mixture into vegetable mixture;
cook 1 minute, stirring constantly. Add SPAM, green beans, tomato,
and vegetable juice cocktail. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer
5 minutes, stirring occasionally. Remove skillet from heat; arrange
potato slices over SPAM mixture to cover completely. Spray potato
slices with vegetable cooking spray. Broil 6" from heat source 10
minutes or until golden.

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Wednesday, July 11, 2007


Beef Cake

I've been having problems getting down to writing about the fantastic vacation we just got back from. You know how it goes; you go away for a week and when you come back there is double the work stacked on your desk, all with a deadline posted the day you left. The manor is in total disarray and I have a honey-do list that would crush most mortal men. Gha.

In any event, a Sassy friend from way back (wow, 15 years since college) directed me here ... My God, it's full of stars calories.

On top of that, blog-buddy MaggsBunny sent me this:
Imagine if you will... the leader of the fifth invader force
speaking to the commander in chief...

"They're made out of meat."
"Meat. They're made out of meat."
"There's no doubt about it. We picked several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, probed them all the way through. They're completely meat."
"That's impossible. What about the radio signals? The messages to the stars."
"They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don't come from them. The signals come from machines."
"So who made the machines? That's who we want to contact."
"They made the machines. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Meat made the machines."
"That's ridiculous. How can meat make a machine? You're asking me to believe in sentient meat."
"I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. These creatures are the only sentient race in the sector and they're made out of meat."
"Maybe they're like the Orfolei. You know, a carbon-based intelligence that goes through a meat stage."
"Nope. They're born meat and they die meat. We studied them for several of their life spans, which didn't take too long. Do you have any idea the life span of meat?"
"Spare me. Okay, maybe they're only part meat. You know, like the Weddilei. A meat head with an electron plasma brain inside."
"Nope. We thought of that, since they do have meat heads like the Weddilei. But I told you, we probed them. They're meat all the way through."
"No brain?"
"Oh, there is a brain all right. It's just that the brain is made out of meat!"
"So... what does the thinking?"
"You're not understanding, are you? The brain does the thinking. The meat."
"Thinking meat! You're asking me to believe in thinking meat!"
"Yes, thinking meat! Conscious meat! Loving meat. Dreaming meat. The meat is the whole deal! Are you getting the picture?"
"Omigod. You're serious then. They're made out of meat."
"Finally, Yes. They are indeed made out meat. And they've been trying to get in touch with us for almost a hundred of their years."
"So what does the meat have in mind?"
"First it wants to talk to us. Then I imagine it wants to explore the universe, contact other sentients, swap ideas and information. The usual."
"We're supposed to talk to meat?"
"That's the idea. That's the message they're sending out by radio. 'Hello. Anyone out there? Anyone home?' That sort of thing."
"They actually do talk, then. They use words, ideas, concepts?"
"Oh, yes. Except they do it with meat."
"I thought you just told me they used radio."
"They do, but what do you think is on the radio? Meat sounds. You know how when you slap or flap meat it makes a noise? They talk by flapping their meat at each other. They can even sing by squirting air through their meat."
"Omigod. Singing meat. This is altogether too much. So what do you advise?"
"Officially or unofficially?"
"Officially, we are required to contact, welcome, and log in any and all sentient races or multibeings in the quadrant, without prejudice, fear, or favor. Unofficially, I advise that we erase the records and forget the whole thing."
"I was hoping you would say that."
"It seems harsh, but there is a limit. Do we really want to make contact with meat?"
"I agree one hundred percent. What's there to say?" `Hello, meat. How's it going?' But will this work? How many planets are we dealing with here?"
"Just one. They can travel to other planets in special meat containers, but they can't live on them. And being meat, they only travel through C space. Which limits them to the speed of light and makes the possibility of their ever making contact
pretty slim. Infinitesimal, in fact."
"So we just pretend there's no one home in the universe."
"That's it."
"Cruel. But you said it yourself, who wants to meet meat? And the ones who have been aboard our vessels, the ones you have probed? You're sure they won't remember?"
"They'll be considered crackpots if they do. We went into their heads and smoothed out their meat so that we're just a dream to them."
"A dream to meat! How strangely appropriate, that we should be meat's dream."
"And we can mark this sector unoccupied."
"Good. Agreed, officially and unofficially. Case closed. Any others? Anyone interesting on that side of the galaxy?"
"Yes, a rather shy but sweet hydrogen core cluster intelligence in a class nine star in G445 zone. Was in contact two galactic rotations ago, wants to be friendly again."
"They always come around."
"And why not? Imagine how unbearably, how unutterably cold the universe would be if one were all alone."

By Terry Bisson

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Monday, July 09, 2007


Meme Filler #2

How smart are you?

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