White Lightning Axiom: Redux

The wife and I spent a bit of time sorting gifts for kids last night. Soon enough, we will be sending out thank you letters that will probably look a lot like this:

Dear treacherous gift giver.

It was wonderful that you could come to our children's second birthday party. I hope that you got enough to eat and drink because it seems that we still had about 30 bratwursts and 4 cases of premium beer left. We did, however, run out of paper plates, napkins and toilet paper. If you accidentaly took some home, feel free to label it so we can use it when we come to your home. The incredibly loud and obnoxious toy you gave our children was very thoughtful of you. The children a)fought over it for 15 minutes, b) broke it in 15 minutes, c) ignored it, d) played with it for 15 minutes until the 16 AAA batteries died, e) played with it till they drove us completely batty and we destroyed it for the common good. We hope to send you some pictures soon enough from the party, but since most of them involve us cleaning up various messes or retrieving children from garbage cans, it is taking us a while to photo-shop them to erase the obvious curse words frozen on our lips. Once again, thank you for the traitorous gift and we hope to soon return the favor at your child's next party event. That, or plug all your toilets with bottle caps and plastic cups like ours were.

Love, the angst ridden parents.

Perhaps the Mrs should write the thank-you cards.